A mentor and friend of mine referred to them as “rocking chair moments” during a training session nearly 20 years ago. At the time, at a beachfront hotel in Fort Lauderdale, I thought I knew exactly what he meant.
Turns out, I was wrong.
At the time, those rocking chair moments were the moments in your life and career that when you looked back you would feel a sense of enjoyment, accomplishment and great pride. I was an aspiring manager in my early 30’s, and I had already had a few of those moments. My vision for the future was grand, and with the help of mentors like the one training me and my hard work, there would be many of those moments when I looked back.
Fast-forward nearly 20 years and I’ve had a lot of great moments. More than my fair share many might say, and I cannot argue that point. But time has a way of adding clarity to one’s perspective, and that certainly has been the case for me.
Those “rocking chair moments” it turns out are not really moments at all. The best, most vivid moments of a person’s life or career are the people along the way that you get to share those moments with.
This month, I launch into a brand new career. I’ve had some time off between jobs to reflect, as well as meet up with some old friends and colleagues that I haven’t seen much recently. The start of a new job and the start of a new year is a great time to take inventory, give thanks and plan for success going forward, and I’ve done just that.
For the most part, most of the people and experiences that make up that inventory are positive. However, not all of the people in those “rocking chair moments” are there for the outstanding positive traits. I’ve learned how not to act just as much as how to act from co-workers and bosses. Creating an atmosphere of fear and contempt in the workplace is not a recipe for success. A boss that sat in his office all day smoking, only going out to scowl and try to intimidate employees taught me the value of walking around the office and talking to employees instead of talking at them. A boss who only talked of a positive attitude and workplace reminded me of the importance of actions instead of words. Liking a positive attitude meme on social media isn’t the same as actually displaying one.
But by far the best “rocking chair moments” are the positive influences that have entered into my life through the friendships I have developed and mentorships I have experienced. Having lunch with two former co-workers this week reminded me of this in the past few days, and how important culture and a positive work environment are to the success of a business and the individuals within it. The best co-workers have a vision of greatness and achievement along with the ability to communicate and inspire those around them to help achieve those goals. I only hope that I’ve managed to do that a few times in my career and in my life. What I know for sure is that I’ve been blessed by an abundance of people like this in my life.
Life changes, and so does my ability to stay as close to some of those incredibly meaningful people. They have moved, or I have moved but their importance remains. I draw on those individuals for wisdom and inspiration nearly every day. As the years have progressed, some of those great people in my life have passed. Family members, two of my early mentors in business and several other people that have had impact on my life are among the list, which unfortunately continues to grow as I get older.
In the past few days, I’ve had additional reasons to reflect on these “rocking chair moments” in my life. A close family member is recovering from open heart surgery, and is doing well. But it was a reminder of how important family is. A former co-worker called me in the past few days to let me know that they were dying of cancer. I was again reminded of how precious life is, and that tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone.
Music has always been a pathway to comfort for me, and with this set of emotions it is no different. We could debate what the best Beatles song of all time was. But if your answer was anything except “In My Life” you would be wrong. The words to this Lennon – McCartney song are insightful and comforting at the same time. They provide that for me now, and I hope for you. They also sum up very well my feelings to those of you who have had such an amazing impact on my life. Thank you.
There are places I'll remember All my life, though some have changed Some forever, not for better Some have gone and some remain All these places have their moments With lovers and friends I still can recall Some are dead and some are living In my life, I've loved them all
But of all these friends and lovers There is no one compares with you And these memories lose their meaning When I think of love as something new Though I know I'll never lose affection For people and things that went before I know I'll often stop and think about them In my life, I love you more
Though I know I'll never lose affection For people and things that went before I know I'll often stop and think about them In my life, I love you more In my life-- I love you more
Songwriters: John Lennon / Paul McCartney
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