Thanksgiving is upon us. That one day a year we show appreciation and gratitude, when in reality we should be practicing Thanksgiving every day. Easier said than done, I realize but it is something that I know I need to get better at – and as a general rule I think I’ve been better than average at gratitude and appreciation. And yet I still have a long way to go, along with most everybody else in this world I’m afraid.
I’m thankful for many things, including my family, friends, my country and for my job. I realize that saying that I’m thankful for the country I am fortunate enough to live in might not be a popular thing to say, but I’m ready for the comments. Flawed as the USA is, and we are, I still cannot imagine living in any other country on this amazing Earth.
The year 2022 will go down as the year of the Great Resignation, with unprecedented numbers of people looking for and finding new career opportunities. And while my current employer, much like the country I live in, might have some flaws I still cannot imagine working anywhere else.
I’ve worked for several organizations in different industries during my working career: from small mom and pop organizations to international heavyweights. But I have never felt more respected or cared for by an organization than my current employer.
With all due credit to Aretha Franklin – R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me.
My CEO took the opportunity recently to convey the importance of important words and phrases. He was quoting Michael Angelo Caruso and “The 15 Most Important Words” that you can use when you interact with another person. I’m thankful that the CEO took the time to share this nugget of information. I appreciate the information contained, and I appreciate even more the fact that this is something he does on a regular basis.
The job market might be slightly tighter (maybe), but there are still plenty of people looking for and finding new employment. There are as many reasons why someone is looking for a new job as there are people searching, but I think there are some common denominators. Money is a factor, but in many cases equal to or even more important to money is finding a good corporate culture. I cannot imagine a better corporate culture than one that focuses on caring for and respecting people; employees and customers.
As for those 15 important words, they are important for your work life, but their use extends well beyond 8 to 5. For the past three years, I’ve tracked my time in a spreadsheet after my company introduced many of us to Laura Vanderkam and her approach to time management. I can say with authority along with three years of data that work only takes up 27% or so of time (your results may vary). That leaves 73% of your life that could still benefit from these amazing 15 words.
The first five words are an area that I have a great opportunity to improve on and say more frequently. “I am proud of you.” When was the last time you said, or had someone say that they were proud of you? It might have even been an awkward exchange, and that could be because we just aren’t saying that enough. Finding opportunities to sincerely say that you are proud of someone will enrich their life and yours.
“What is your opinion?” As a team leader, I tried to use this one on a regular basis. Rarely (if ever) have I been the smartest guy in the room. So asking your team what they think gets their buy in with the decision making process, and provides you as the leader a variety of ideas; many of which might be better than what you would come up with on your own.
A variation on asking for their opinion would be, “What does success look like?” I love asking this question and hearing how an idea can have a positive impact on a project. Reality based assessments that provide fact driven evaluation on what can happen can yield amazing, often unthought of results.
Hopefully in all our interactions, we have not forgotten our manners. But as a reminder, make sure you use the words “Would you please….?” Barking commands rarely inspires loyalty. Saying please is a sign of respect, and simply an easy way of easing the tone of your voice as you direct someone to do something, especially if it is something they may not like doing.
In the spirit of Thanksgiving and good manners, let’s be sure to say “Thank you" as well. Funny how those early childhood lessons of saying “please” and “thank you” are still important pillars in how we communicate as adults.
And now, that 15th word – you can insert your own drum roll if you please. Say the person’s name. This is the area of my greatest weakness, as I struggle with knowing people’s names. It was a struggle when I ran small newspapers, and that has remained an issue as I now work at a company pushing 3,000 employees. I’ve often told the story that what I need is a person like actor Michael Douglas had in the movie American President . His chief of staff, played by Martin Sheen would follow President Andrew Shepherd (Douglas) whispering the name of every individual they crossed paths with. Unfortunately, I don’t have a chief of staff, so I’m on my own to improve my mastery of including people’s names in conversation.
Nothing connects with people better than saying their name. I’ve seen some masters of conversation who use this as a great tool to build connections. Working on learning people’s names and incorporating them into conversation will make you a better communicator.
Those 15 words are a pretty solid foundation for better communication in your life. Talking to co-workers, family members or that random person at the store will be improved if we work on those 15 key words. And as I said, I’m thankful that I am surrounded by leaders that took the time to tell me those words.
I think it is also important to make sure we are talking to ourselves in a positive manner. My inner voice is pretty negative, and in talking with people over the years I’ve learned that I’m not alone with that negative inner voice.
We all need some inspiration in our lives. If you are not surrounded by colleagues and leaders that are inspiring you, then you need to surround yourself with meaningful words that will keep you focused, inspired and moving in the right direction.
Here are a few of the quotes that I think of to keep me inspired, energized and motivated.
Struggling to get a project figured out, a reminder from Gene Kranz during the Apollo 13 crisis. He said, “Let’s work the problem people. Let’s not make things worse by guessing.” That has been on a post it note at my desk for two plus years now.
Under deadline to get something done, remember college basketball legendary coach John Wooden. He said, "Be quick but don’t hurry."
I recently heard a radio interview with NFL star and TV commentator Merril Hoge. Feeling discouraged and struggling to overcome obstacles, he would always remind himself to “Find a way.”
Great quotes and general inspiration can always be found in the words of Mark Twain. There are many inspiring quotes from him, including: "Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you did not do than by the things you did do. So, throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
Finally, if you’re like me you might look back on decisions with regrets or second guesses. Baseball great Cal Ripken Jr. when he announced his retirement said, “So when I look back, I don't have those regrets. I accomplished what my skills, ability and determination allowed me to."
Happy Thanksgiving
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