We all have been given such great advice on how to live life, yet we struggle putting it into action
The beginning of the year is an opportunity to reflect on the previous year as well as plan the year ahead of you. The start of this year has given me pause for some additional thoughts, reflections and some words of wisdom for my mind to ponder. And given the world’s current craziness, I think we all need pause, reflect and perhaps remember those words of advice we’ve been given in the past.
Advice on leadership, being understanding, helping out your neighbor, turning the other cheek and just being a good person seems to have been forgotten or ignored by a large portion of the world in general. We’ve all been blessed with incredible pieces of advice that have provided us a guidance for how we live. I know I have.
As I reflect on some of the great advice I’ve been given, I remember some of the great people that shared with me that advice. I guess you could say that this post is like my greatest hits album, filled with memorable pieces of advice, quotes and sayings that have made an impact on my life.
A mentor / friend of mine offered one of the best pieces of advice I’ve been given. It is something I try to do everyday. “Create rocking chair moments,” was the statement from my boss at the time Mark. His point was that when you get to the end of your career and your life, make sure you have memorable and positive things to reflect on. This is a guiding nugget of advice for me and my family as we devote time together to create memories so that when we are sitting back in our collective rocking chairs and reflecting on the life we’ve lived, that we have amazing, wonderful and lasting memories. Those memories transcend time and will stick with me and my family forever.
That piece of advice, while always a part of my thought process has particularly been on my mind recently. My friend Mark lost his wife this past year at a way too young age. While I’m sure it is sad to start a new life without your life partner as he is doing, I hope that he finds comfort in those rocking chair moments of his past as he carry’s on to new adventures and new happiness. New happiness doesn’t diminish those rocking chair moments.
Rocking chair moments can be a quiet moment, or it can be a thrilling adventure. A good life lived is a mixture of both. You never know where you’ll find inspiration and good words of advice. Sitting in a bar in Elkhart, Indiana recently I found a sign that provides some wise words, and a smile on my face too. “Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave in a well preserved body. But rather to skid in sideways, totally wore out shouting, ‘Holy shit....what a ride!’” Amen!
Family and friends have provided me with a ton of guidance over the years. My brother Mark on the night before his wedding told me, “Sometimes it is better to ask for forgiveness than for permission.” I’m guessing my parents didn’t appreciate my brother’s advice to their then 14 year old son, but I sure did.
There has been a ton of great business advice that has guided me over the year in what has been a reasonably successful career. Though written over 20 years ago, I still recommend Tom Peter’s book “ReImagine!” to people looking to succeed in business. Peters’ advice to “Celebrate the weird” is often times a battle cry at my house.
Back in the town that I grew up in, there are only a few iconic businesses still seeing success. One of them is run by someone that I used to hang out with many years ago. One of Randy’s frequent sayings has become one of mine. “If you can’t be on time, be early” is a phrase that I’m sure my son hates hearing, but to his credit he realizes the importance of it which makes me proud.
In addition to the ”ReImagine! " book mentioned earlier, the other book that has meant the most to me is “The Last Lecture” by Randy Pausch. Randy turned out to be one of the first YouTube sensations in the world, which he followed up with a best selling book by the same name. Watch the video then read the book, from a dying man who will teach you how to live. So damn powerful. “You cannot change the cards you’ve been dealt, only the way you play them.” That is just one of the many lessons and phrases from the video and book. “The Last Lecture” has changed the way I manage people, love my family and live my life.
Over the years, sports have provided great lessons in life for me with advice on how to live, work and love. I could do an entire post on the pearls of wisdom I’ve learned from sports. Recently, I was listening to an Ohio State football broadcast. At half time they interviewed the head soccer coach for the woman’s program at OSU, Lori Walker-Hock. The words she used to motivate her team during the pandemic are timeless and should be something we all strive remember and act on. “Ask yourself each day are you distracted or are you on a path to distinction.”
Maybe the greatest lesson learned from sports is leadership. What the world needs most now (and all of the time actually) is, you guessed it, leadership. I love to discuss leadership, as I find myself most motivated by the topic. In a recent exchange with my friend Kevin, leadership was the topic, as it often is. He wrote: “Above my desk I have two leadership statements. 1. ‘Leaders are made through discipline, training, experience, failure and the desire to continually improve’. 2. The power of a leader—‘True leaders are not those who strive to be first but those who are first to strive and who give their all for the success of the team. True leaders are first to see the need, envision the plan and empower the team for action. By the strength of the leaders commitment, the power of the team is unleashed.’ These are part of my morning ritual of leadership centering to start each day. Reading these and internally hoping that I live up to these principles to the best of my ability.”
The drive to inspiring others to be their best is one of the most noble thing we can try to do on this earth. A Mark Twain quote that I think of often on this topic reminds me to pay it forward. When I had a terrible boss who found joy in tearing down her employees, I found my inspiration from a quote over 100 years old from ole Sam Clemens. “Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.” That quote helped get me through some pretty dark times working under the very bad boss.
A little TV and a little comedy also bring about inspiration. The TV show “The Office” had many nuggets of fun and laughter. But there are several great lessons in business, and advice to consider. One that provides both to me is a quote from Dwight K. Schrute a.k.a. actor Rainn Wilson. “Whenever I’m about to do something, I think, ‘Would an idiot do that?’ And if they would, I do not do that thing.”
Lessons from the office, where you work not the show are also plenty. My current boss recently shared with me the parable of the oranges and advice on how to become a great employee. I wish 22 year old Pete had read this short story, and I wish all 22 year olds setting forth in their career would take pause to read it too. Honestly, non-22 year olds including you reading this can learn greatly from the Parable of the Oranges.
I’m so lucky and thankful for the friends in my life that inspire me everyday, whether they realize it or not. We are a composite of the people we hang out with. If you’re lucky enough to gather quality people around you, you have a pretty good chance that quality things will happen in your life. I say this because as I’ve been thinking about the great advice I’ve been given over the years, I reached out for advice via social media. Crowd sourcing a blog post, perhaps but I wanted to be inspired with the best of the best advice from my tribe. So if the pieces of advice I wrote about are the greatest hits, then here are some hidden tracks and cover versions of advice - just to keep the metaphor going.
Here is a sampling of the overwhelming outpouring I continue to receive from that post:
On friends:
“Pick out three or four role models, and if you think they’d be ok with your decisions, you’re good.” - Blake Sebring
On marriage:
“Never go to bed angry.” - Debbie Maly
“Marry your best friend.” - Ruth Van Baalen. And of course I had to include this piece of advice to the list!
Personal conduct / work ethic:
“Always give a firm handshake and look the person in the eyes during.” - Scott Chambless
“Persistence eventually pays off.” - Brian Casey
“Never half-ass anything. Your name is riding on it,” - Harry Biehl, Rush County Indiana farmer as told to me by Kevin Green. And along that line, I’m reminded of the TV character Ron Swanson who said, “Never half ass two things. Whole ass one thing and do it very well.”
“Treat others as you want to be treated.” - Deb Fulton
“Dream bigger than usual.” - Ty Simmons. I love this quote by the way. I’ve used it in training myself since receiving this wonderful advice.
“If you are worrying about failing, you already have.” - Dave Johnson
“It’s best to remain quiet and be thought a fool than open your mouth and remove all doubt.” - Mark Hankins. I believe the origin of this is one of my all time favorite historical people, A. Lincoln - and simply great advice.
Two from Ken Joyce - “E=R....Effort-Results” and “When you do a job, ask yourself how would Roger Penske do it, and strive for that.”
“Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from bad decisions.” - Jason Johnson
“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” - Dave Howenstine
“Bad association spoiled useful habits.” - Clarence Thomas - my friend not the Supreme Court justice!
A continuation of Clarence’s idea, from Cathy Hahn - “Pay attention to who you have in your tribe. Are they making you better or bringing your down to their level?”
“Make sure you take time to understand someone whose views differ from yours. We have to be able to get along with those who see life differently.” - Melissa Colonis. Wow, spot on no matter what end of the political spectrum you live.
“Don’t argue with fools.” - Stacey Anderson.
“What gets focus, gets done. What gets inspected, gets respected.” - Woody Zimmerman
“Don’t be an observer through life, be a participant.” - Tom Rhoades
“Everything you do is a choice.” - Matt Schroeder. Simple yet true statement of which I’ll add, choosing not to do something is also a choice.
“You are responsible for your own happiness.” - Kathy Boles
“Learn the difference between constructive criticism and getting your butt chewed out.” - Clint Marsh
“My immigrant father said, ‘Cathal this the greatest country in the history of the world. It is the world’s last great hope. It is the only country where an immigrant like me can come and if I work twice as hard as the guy who was born here, not only can I make more money than the native born son, I can be his boss. That doesn’t happen anywhere else.’” - Cathal O’Connor
“Ask yourself - Is this my problem, or somebody else's problem? Interpreted by me as : 1. Don't try to solve other people's problems. They need to learn and you need to direct that time at yourself. 2. Even if they tell you that it is your problem to solve, you can still decide whether it really is or is not. 3. Don't take on unneeded stress. Be able to discern theirs from yours.” - Jean Deary
On leadership:
“Remember the people who work for you are professionals and treat them as such.” - Mark Van Baalen
“You can lead a horse to water. You can even stick there head in the water, but you cannot make them drink.” - Rick Van Baalen
“Treat people like they make a difference and they will.” - Brad Lyons.
“When privileged to lead others, engage others proportionally to how God constructed us - two ears, two eyes, one mouth.” - Paul Lyons
There were many more responses that I received from friends and colleagues via Facebook and LinkedIN. - too many to include on here. Thank you all for taking the time to respond.
Several people asked me what project I was working on when I started soliciting their advice. It wasn’t for this post - though I appreciate everyone giving me content for it. It was simply to keep me inspired - and if you find a phrase shared in here and are inspired then that is a bonus! My request was also to remind us, all of us that we have all been given great advice in our lifetime. We know the right thing to do most every time - how to act, how to lead and how to behave towards others. Remember to work hard, be nice to one another, take responsibility for your actions and try to look for happiness in your life and in the people you surround yourself with. You may not be able to make the entire world a better place, but you can make the place you have in this world better.
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