I’m just going to say it, though I know this will not be a popular statement with many of you. The year 2020 is getting a bad rap! There it is. Yes, I said it. And now you can tell me just how out of touch I am and how horrible this year has been. But first, hear me out....
We are quickly approaching the end of the calendar year. And what I’m hearing is many people wishing away today and the rest of this year in hopes of a new start and better results for 2021. I’m very concerned that people have convinced themselves that when the virtual ball drops on New Year’s Eve and January 1, 2021 arrives, all will be fixed and the world will be perfect. Needless to say, they will be disappointed.
By any account, the year 2020 has had more than it’s share of bad news and heartache. I am not tone deaf to that and to the pain and anxiety that people are going through. In casual conversations or through posts on social media, people have been very vocal in expressing their opinion on just how bad this year has been. Their displeasure has been very evident. Many people are even calling 2020 the worst year ever.
WORST YEAR EVER?
I’m not much into grading years, or comparing one year’s merits verses another. I’ll leave that the meme makers on Facebook that they have been very busy with plenty of rich content to draw inspiration since March. A quick Google search shows gut busting humor from a variety of content opportunities providing biting commentary on the horrors of 2020 - from Covid to race relations, politics, murder hornets, Tiger King and more.
But I’m not ready to call this year the worst year ever. I’m not ignoring all the negative that has happened I promise. I’ve had a few friends come down with Covid. While no one in my immediate family or friends have passed as a result, I do have at least three friends who have lost parents from the virus. My heart aches for them and for anyone that has lost loved ones as a result.
But it is a big statement to call 2020 the worst year ever. And just perhaps an over reaction by all of us. I’m not saying this year has been stellar; it hasn’t. Perhaps though, we have lost our perspective and our ability to see the good things that are still happening all around us each and every day.
In trying times such as these, it is a difficult search. But I think we could all benefit from a successful search for contentment in our lives.
This is a very difficult effort for me, just like everybody else. As long as I can remember, I’ve struggled with enjoying the moment as it happens. So if there is any preaching going on with this message, the preaching is directed straight at myself. With all that we are blessed to enjoy every single day of our lives, we need to slow down long enough to enjoy those little moments. I’m as guilty as anyone - probably more that most, about not being able to enjoy the moment. So much of my inner voice is negative and critical. The collective voice of the world right now is whining because things are not going like we’d prefer.
Equally difficult for me and others is the clarity of memories from days gone by. Humans have an amazing ability to remember the positive or perfect moments, instead of the mix of good and bad that really makes up our lives. Our memories from the past are often times idealized by the fantasy we remember. Reality is, things weren’t as perfect in the past as they are in our memory. But that doesn’t really matter in the midst of us waxing nostalgic for the good old days. That longing for the past blocks our ability to enjoy the now.
Over Labor Day weekend, I was fortunate enough to have a family getaway and spend some time at the beach and pool. Hanging around poolside, the conversation with my wife and son turned deep. My son Eric’s advice to us was simple and yet profound. He declared that he was trying to do a better job of living more in the moment and to better appreciate the now.
At least at that moment, my son had found the contentment in life that has continually eluded me. And suddenly I was trying to catch up and be just like him.
Human nature can be cruel. When you’re 16 years old, a good deal of your time is spent dreaming about when you’re older. How many times did all of us start off a sentence in our teenage years with, “When I’m an adult....”? As you start to tack on a few years and high school becomes more and more distant, the shift in your mind begins. And suddenly more and more of your sentences begin with, “When I was a kid...” The longing for a simpler time from our youth, of missing our parents and other loved ones that are gone seem to take up more and more of our thinking.
Yet as we do that, we miss now.
Life is hard. Everyday we have a choice to make; walk around discontented and bemoaning just how hard life is, or try to find the good in each moment and make the best of it. The easy choice is to let the sometime overwhelming feelings of life being hard begin to overtake you. Like I said, life is hard. In the movie “A League of Their Own,” the coach of the women’s professional baseball team Jimmy, played by Tom Hanks is having a pivotal conversation with his star player Dottie, played by Geena Davis. When Dottie tells him that balancing her normal life with her baseball career was getting just too hard. Jimmy (Hanks) turns to her and states, “The hard is what makes it great.”
So as we think about the year 2020, how are we going to let it define us? We can be overwhelmed by all that is happened, give in to all the negativity that is going on and chalk it up as the worst year in history, as many have already done. Or we can face it head on and declare that it has been a hard year, but “the hard is what makes it great.” I’m choosing to say that the hard makes it great - not the greatest perhaps, but at least full of blessings.
One of my favorite lyrics from a Jimmy Buffett song goes, “If a hurricane doesn’t leave you dead, it will make you strong.” 2020 is the mother of all hurricanes and most likely one of the most challenging years many will face. And for those fortunate enough to get through, it will be the defining year of their lifetimes.
A friend of mine, whenever he is asked how he’s doing, his answer is most always the same: “More blessings than challenges.” That’s true for all of us, I believe, when we describe 2020.
As we approach the home stretch of 2020 and start to look ahead to 2021, I think our goals need to reflect the desire to do less judging and comparing - of our life vs. someone else’s, this year vs. another one - and truly enjoy today. As my son Eric suggested, appreciate the now for what it is worth. While there is plenty of negative that surrounds us, there is still plenty of good that can be celebrated and appreciated right now. Don’t ignore the positives as you focus on the negatives that are swirling around each of us.
I’m not suggesting that I don’t reminisce and think about days gone by. Absolutely I do, every day. I have been blessed with so many fantastic memories; of things I’ve done, places I’ve been and more importantly people I’ve had in my life. The key is to not get too lost in those memories, and remember that they are a part of the past. I also realize that the good old days weren’t perfect, despite what my brain might trick me to believe.
There is a new song from singer / songwriter Mac McAnally’s song that has been buzzing around my head the past several days as I contemplate this writing, this year and next, and frankly my life. “Everyday Is Once In A Lifetime” keeps ringing in my ears. Enjoying the marvel of each day, savoring each taste like that perfect steak or a well aged bottle of bourbon is something we need to remind ourselves to do as we walk through life. Live in the now and remember that everyday is once in a lifetime.
P.S. - I had basically finished this blog post when a friend of mine reposted something on Facebook. It originated, at least that post did by Nicholas Dippery and I think it is worth sharing here.
Imagine you were born in 1900.
When you are 14 World War I begins and ends at 18 with 22 million deaths.
Soon after, a global pandemic the ′ Spanish Flu ′ kills 50 million people. You come out alive and free. You are 20 years old.
Then, at age 29, you survive the global economic crisis that began with the collapse of the New York Stock Exchange, causing inflation, unemployment and hunger.
At 33, the Nazis came to power. You are 39 when WWII begins and ends at 45. During the Holocaust (Shoah), 6 million Jews died. There will be more than 60 million deaths in total.
When you are 52, the Korean War begins. At 64, the Vietnam War begins and ends at 75
A boy born in 1985 thinks his grandparents have no idea how difficult life is, but they have survived several wars and disasters.
Boy born in 1995 and now 25 thinks it's the end of the world when his Amazon package takes more than three days to arrive or when he doesn't get more than 15 `` likes '' for his photo posted on Facebook or Instagram. .
In 2020, many of us are living comfortably, we have access to different sources of home entertainment, and we often have more than we need.
But people are complaining about everything. However, they have electricity, telephones, food, hot water and a roof over their heads.
None of this existed before. But humanity has survived much more dire circumstances and has never lost the joy of living.
Maybe it's time to be less selfish, to stop complaining and crying.
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