The art of small talk really is an art. I’ve always been blessed to be able to start a conversation with just about anyone. I think I am naturally curious, and that curiosity has helped me throughout my life.
It is a skill that is hard to teach, though I believe it is possible. It is just a matter of asking the right questions and the ability to carry on a conversation. I’ve seen average sales people who can connect well with customers produce amazing results. Conversely, I’ve seen technically savvy sales people who couldn’t relate to customers fail.
If you want to learn the skills of small talk and connecting with customers, watch your barber or stylist the next time you get your hair cut. Getting your haircut is a very personal, intimate thing. That person is someone you hopefully trust, and they perform this task in your personal space. Plus they are producing an outcome that you have to live with for the next 4 to 6 weeks.
For me I’m very lucky that my stylist Stephenie does an exceptional job of small talk and connecting with me as well as cutting my hair. While she is also a good stylist, she’s even better at getting me and my family to relax while we’re in her chair. That must explain why my family and I drive 90 minutes every 5 weeks or so to have Stephenie cut our hair.
And on the occasions when I can’t make the trip down, it is traumatic. OK, not traumatic but something that I don’t enjoy for sure. That was especially the case for me a few weeks ago when work obligations meant I couldn’t make the Saturday morning trip down, and I was left to fend for myself. So I decided to go to a chain hair cutting establishment.
I sat down and proceeded to get a pretty good hair cut. But the small talk was not up to par. Now under normal circumstances, I can live with subpar small talk; or frankly no talk at all. But in this case, the stylist at the chain didn’t understand the art of small talk or when to keep quiet.
The young lady that cut my hair wanted to better understand why I would drive 90 minutes to get my haircut in Indianapolis. I explained to her that my family had developed a great relationship with my normal stylist Stephenie, and we wanted to continue to support her business. I soon found out the person cutting my hair was a 30 year old immigrant from Columbia, and she had questions about how the town I lived in (Fort Wayne) compared with Indianapolis.
As the conversation continued, her questions grew more concerning as they started to get more and more racially charged. This was especially odd to me since she herself was in fact, a person of color. Many of the stereotypes she was commenting to me about no doubt she has had said about her and perhaps her family too in her past.
While I tried to politely disagree with her, I grew very uncomfortable sitting in her chair. After what seemed like forever, the haircut was finally complete. She then went on to explain to me the feedback options for customers with this particular chain, pleading with me to give her a 10 rating for my experience that day. I assured her I would take the survey.
And I did, only the score was well below the 10 she requested. I detailed in very matter-of-fact details about the small talk I experienced from this young lady. And then to be sure, I went to the corporate website each time giving them multiple ways that they could contact me. My goal wasn’t to get a discount or even get the young lady fired. My goal was to make sure the company realized that they had a training opportunity on their hands. Honestly, I’m not 100% sure the issue with my Colombian barber wasn’t a cultural thing. It probably wasn’t, but I’m willing to give her the benefit of the doubt. And I wanted to give the owner a similar benefit of the doubt.
So I waited. And waited and never heard back from anyone. Finally, nearly a month later I received a form letter apologizing that my haircut wasn’t as good as I expected. Tone deaf, as the company didn’t read and didn’t care about the issues I brought forward.
Connecting with your customers happens at all levels of your organization. While I am disappointed with the young lady that cut my hair, the reality is it is only partially her fault. Front line customer service people need to have the right script on what to say, and that is typically communicated to them by their managers. Do you cringe at things you hear your employees are saying? Are there communication portals within your organization where customers are offering feedback but you appear to be ignoring? Here are some questions you need to ask yourself regarding customer interactions and change if your answers are not hitting the mark.
• Is your organization training your front line employees on what to say; and frankly what not to say?
• Is your organization making sure your social media channel is a two way street — where you promptly and quickly respond to comments from your fans and detractors?
• When someone emails you, are you responding appropriately in a timely manner?
• Are you empowering your employees to make decisions on customer care?
Regular and consistent training on communication skills is an inexpensive investment in your team. It is certainly cheaper than a lawsuit, if your employees say the wrong thing. Having a social media page and not responding is like installing a phone and refusing to answer it. Your customers have feedback and are going to offer it through Facebook. Also, if you have a customer feedback email address or form on your website, don’t be surprised if you actually get feedback. Be sure to monitor the comments and reviews, thank them for their praises and fix the problems.
It is a simple as that.
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